Growing up, I didn’t think my mom was any different from any of my friends’ moms. She drove me places, came out and supported me at my sporting events, made my lunch when I was little: all the normal things one would expect their mom to do for them. As I got older, I started to realize that my mom was not your average mom. I started hearing her say different “one liners” or expressions that had become commonplace to me, but would make those around her laugh. The older I got, into my 20’s, she was not only saying these different expressions that I had always heard, but coming up with new ones. Mind you, they were not new to her, just to those around her. Well, now I’m in my 40’s and she still catches me by surprise with some of the things she says. I still find them funny, and my children, her grandchildren, can hardly contain themselves. Fortunately, my mother is aware enough to be age appropriate with her sayings, but there is the occasional time when I find myself saying, “MOTHER!!!” Then we all laugh.
So I thought that I would share some of the sayings my mother has expressed throughout my life in the hopes that some of you may find these funny enough to put on a Custom T-Shirt.
Here we go:
1. Referring to libations:
- One is Good,
- Two at the Most,
- Three, I’m under the Table,
- Four, I’m under the Host!
2. Standing there like a cigar store Indian
3. Talking the hind leg off a chicken
4. Tits on a Ritz, mmmm good cracker
5. That went over like a:
- Turd in a punch bowl
- Fart in church
6. Toot the flute and swallow the music.
7. Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?
8. This won’t hurt now did it?
9. Run to the round house, Annie, you can’t get cornered there.
10. Mama get the hammer there’s a fly on baby’s head.
11. What am I, chopped liver?
12. Cool as the drool from a penguin’s tool
13. How far is the Old Log Inn? Not far enough!!